CRUSH??? Shhh....

I'm bamboozled! LOL


"I get the best feeling in the world when you say hi to me, or even smile, because I know even if just for a second, I crossed your mind."

So here's the thing...I've been "crushing" on someone for a while now, but I'm not sure if I can call it that. I mean, I'm in college now. A crush? Sounds pretty middle school-ish. I can't help it though because I can't really say that I LIKE him. I know him...but not well enough to say that I LIKE him. To me...liking someone means now only in the exterior but interior as well. I've only known him for half a year...that's enought time to have a conception, but we don't really talk or see each other everyday...so I just don't know.

From what I do know, he's pretty cocky. He places his self quote high on a pedestal...but then again...why shouldn't he? That just means he is confident. Then again, it can always be a front. Who knows? He plays basketball...and he plays very well...he's extremely cocky about that as well. From what I see and hear, he has a decent amount of girls under his sleeve. I don't blame the girls though...he's a pretty catch. I don't want to be another girl in a list though.

He jokes around and says things like, "Hi Girlfriend" and he kisses my hand when he sees me at times, but that's just him being a flirt. It doesn't really mean anything. Does it?...

"The worst way to miss someone is when they are right beside you and yet you know you can never have them."

I've mentioned this before on my blog, but I'm extremely anti-commitment...at least for now. I don't want to be in a relationship with him. I just want to know if he feels the same way I do. That really bothers me. I feel as though he won't pay me any mind if there's another girl around. I don't know if that's me being insecure or just overbearing.

It's weird because when he tried to catch my attention during the Summer...I paid him no mind. He was obviously feeling me more than I was feeling him. Kind of ironic how this situation goes, right?

Part of the main reason I didn't care was because it seemed as though him and this other girl were getting close. I'm not a home wrecker...she had her eye set on him...and I allowed her. I just didn't care, really.

It's so weird. I really won't know what to do. Part of me wants him to know so I can know how he feels, but part of me doesn't. The part that doesn't is definitely stronger though (lol). I feel as though, if he knows, he will treat me differently. He will probably just add me to the list of girls who like him...and like I said before...I DON'T want to be part of that list. So what do I do?


Summary:

"Look...Don't feel no pity for me...cause I'm going through a couple things...Life means Change...That's the way it goes..." ---Jill Scott