...the ONE who not only catches the eye, but catches the mind, and heart.
When you are someone like me...who could never seem to find a guy who can catch all three of these things...when you do, it totally ruins your whole flow in life. Suddenly, your FOCUS shifts. Suddenly, you go against all of your advice. Suddenly, you feel like Sh--.
You worry about everything you say or do when he is around because you do NOT want to jeopardize any chance of ANYTHING that you may have with him. Your morals, your values, all go out the window if it does not coincide with his. Every guy that comes in your life, has NO chance! The man could be the ONE God has made FOR YOU, BUTTT you will never go about it because all you think of is HIM!!
I know you're probably thinking, "well, isn't he the ONE?" My answer to this is: "I don't know, but what i DO know, is that if he was the ONE, you would NOT have to LOSE all of who makes you, for him...resulting in little to NO GAIN..."
I have fallen as a victim to this other world...the world I preach against to all my girlfriends on a daily basis. All of the "Let him go! He's a loser and requires too much energy" or the "If you put as much energy and time into YOUR life as you do in making him happy...you would be OPRAH type successful!"
I am sorry to say it, but I am a walking contradiction. I rather lie in bed all day and drown in my pathetic sorrows. I rather NOT eat because the thoughts of you and the stress it brings replaces any type of appetite I may have. I rather sacrifice my friends, family, and most importantly, ME TIME, just so I can focus on YOU! I rather DENY the path GOD has created FOR ME, just so I can ACCEPT YOU! I rather put my dreams and aspirations on PAUSE just so I can do all of these things-> sleep, eat, and engage in YOU!
I feel so pathetic about it....
Playing Possum - Maxwell
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