PanicAttack.

Panic attack (n.)

The sudden onset of intense anxiety, characterized by feelings of intense fear and apprehension and accompanied by palpitations, shortness of breath, sweating, and trembling.

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The reason I bring this up today is because last night, I was doing a lot of reflecting, and one of my many reflections were of me undergoing a panic attack (also known as an anxiety attack). At first, I didn't realize that my early spells of chest tightening, heavy breathing experiences had to do with having a panic attack. I am not exactly sure when I began suffering from them, but I do know that I was clueless of what was going on. Maybe around my eighth grade year, I began waking up in the middle of my sleep to a feeling like no other...a sense of entrapment. My chest would feel like it's locking up, my breathe would shorten out, everything felt so unreal, my mind was freaking out. It was such a scary feeling. I thought something serious was happening to my body. I would get up from my bed, stumble a little, and prepare a glass of water for me to drink...as to calm me down. Then, once I felt a little relaxed, I would crawl back to my bed, place my hand on my chest, and monitor my heart beat. My mind would play tricks on me because I began feeling as though by heart beat was slowing down (as in, about to stop), so I would inhale and exhale deeply to speed up my heart beat, and calm me down a bit. OR at times, my heart would feel like it's beating out of control, in which, I result in taking deep breathes as well, to calm myself down.

After, it occurred several more times, and I told my father about it. He took me the hospital, and that marked the beginning of many hospital visits for me, due to those 'panic attacks.' In and out, in and out the hospital I was. Almost every chest exam you can think of, I received it; all resulting the same: nothing shown. I could tell my father was getting a little aggravated with me because there was nothing wrong with me, but if nothing was wrong with me, how come I was going through these spells, series at a time?

A few months passed, and I was feeling like myself again, but fear still lingered; fear of something occurring in my body that no one could detect. Every time I would worry myself, there came that chest tightening feeling. Thus, reminiscing, I have realized...that the reason nothing severe could be detected was because 'panic attacks' have nothing to do with your health. I started realizing that I was having panic attacks sometime, late into my high school years. I began my research and almost all of the symptoms were associated with what I felt. I also, found out that my little method of 'calming' myself down, could actually harm me (taking deep breathes).

This passed Summer, I have been doing well with my panic attacks. Thank God, because let me tell you, it's not a pleasant experience to go through. Last time, I felt like one was coming was towards the end of my last semester. I was going through a shipload of stress and anxiety: My professor was accusing me of plagiarism, I was on probation for an incident I was falsely accused for being part of, my Audio Professor was being an a-hole towards me, and oh yes, how could I forget, I had an corneal abrasion on my left eye, so my vision was blurred in one eye, resulting in missed classes due to eye doctor appointments. Overall, it was an extremely overwhelming time in my life. I have no idea how I didn't have a full forced panic attack, honestly.

Hopefully, this upcoming semester will be a less stressful one. I'm a little scared though because I'm taking a 4-credit class for my Broadcasting major, and guess who is teaching the course? The professor who secretly hates me. Great. ::sarcasm::
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Some of the thoroughly described symptoms (highlighted what I usually experience):

Physical

* A sensation of adrenaline going through your entire body
* Sweating
* Shortness of breath (dyspnea)
* Stomach problems (spastic colon)
* Racing or pounding heartbeat or palpitations
* Chest pain
* Dizziness or vertigo
* Headache
* Lightheadedness
* Nausea / stomach pains
* Hyperventilation
* Choking or smothering sensations
* Hot flashes
* Cold flashes
* Tingling or numbness in the hands, face, feet or mouth (paresthesia)
* Feelings of "crawly," "itchy," or "cringy" skin sensations.
* Burning sensations
* Trembling or shaking
* Feeling of claustrophobia
* Feeling like the body is shutting down/ dying
* Tremors in the legs/shaking legs/thighs
* Tingling spine
* Feeling like one is experiencing a heart attack
* Exhaustion
* Muscle spasms
* Feeling of physical weakness or limpness of the body
* Grinding teeth or tensing other muscles repeatedly or for prolonged periods of time
* Temporary blindness
* Sizzling/ringing in ears/head

Mental

* Intense and/or frightening realizations of reality
* Loss of the ability to react logically to stimuli
* Loss of cognitive ability in general
* Racing thoughts (often based on fear)
* Irrational thoughts
* Loud internal dialogue
* Feeling like nothing is real
* Feeling of impending doom
* Feeling of "going crazy" or becoming insane
* Feeling out of control
* Feeling like no one understands what is happening
* Vision is somewhat impaired (eyes may feel like they are shaking.)
* Feeling that death will come any second
* Avoidance behavior


Emotional

* Terror, or a sense that something unimaginably horrible is about to occur and one is powerless to prevent it
* Fear that the panic is a symptom of a serious illness
* Fear that the panic will not subside
* Fear of losing control
* Fear of death
* Fear of living
* Fear of going crazy
* Flashbacks to earlier panic trigger[citation needed]
* Intense "scared" feeling
* Fear of failure

Perceptual

* Tunnel vision
* Heightened senses
* The apparent slowing down or speeding up of time
* Dream-like sensation or perceptual distortion (derealization)
* Dissociation, or the perception that one is not connected to the body or is disconnected from space and time (depersonalization)
* Feeling of loss of free will, as if acting entirely automatically without control
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Today, while researching panic attacks a little more, I found some helpful ways of treating panic disorder. Here are some:

1- People with Panic disorder often can be successfully treated with therapy, particularly Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and/or anti-anxiety medication or antidepressants.

---Definitely will NOT be taking medication, but I might consider therapy ONE DAY, only if it gets really extreme.

2- Some panic attack sufferers and even some doctors recommend breathing into a paper bag as an effective short-term treatment of an acute panic attack. This balances the ratio of oxygen and carbon dioxide in the blood. Too much oxygen and too little carbon dioxide, caused by breathing too fast or too deeply through the mouth, contributes to the chain reaction of symptoms that occur in a panic attack.

---Ohhhhh, that's why in cartoons and such, the nerd breathes into a paper bag when he's in sight with his super popular crush. This is funny, but I might consider doing that since heavy breathing does seem to calm me down a bit.

3- Coping Statements — repeated as part of an internal monologue

* "No one has ever died from an anxiety attack."
* "I will let my body do its thing. This will pass."
* "I can be anxious and still deal with this situation."
* "This does not feel great, but I can deal with it".

---I WILL definitely be doing this. It seems like such a small thing to do, but it truly helps. Well, at least me, yanno?

4- Acceptance and Acknowledgement- accepting and acknowledging the panic attack.

---I am almost there. lol
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To conclude, I am not looking for any sympathy or any help. I just wanted to share a bit of me that no one really knows. Since, I tend to be somewhat of the private type, but I am working on it though. =]
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Currently listening to: The printer what it knows how to do best (on a working day), print!

Have a blast today,

--KéilaL<3ve.