Personality...

Sometimes I really wish I didn't care...

I wish I didn't care about what anyone felt.
I wish I didn't care about the workload I have to bare.
I wish I didn't care about anyone, but myself.

But I can't help but care. That's who I am. That's who I've always been. My heart is truly too big.


If I could just turn back the hands of time. That's exactly how I feel right about now. I'm supposed to be enjoying my week off from school, but of course I can not. If I had a nonchalant attitude towards everything than I would be enjoying myself right about now, but since I don't...I can not.


The other day, I confided in my friend to tell her that I think she should think twice about the people she trusts. Never did I bash the person we both thought I was referring to. Honestly, I wasn't directly referring to one person, I was speaking in general terms. So today I receive a comment from the person we were talking about I guess...and in a way...she was referring to me as phony and fake. That's what I got out of it. It's crazy because I don't understand how I was ever phony or fake, but she was basically implying that I was talking about her behind her back...which technically I wasn't because never did I say specifically what she has said about my other friend because I don't see that as my place. I hate drama...and that's the truth.

I have to talk to her in person though because we need to clear this out. I don't want us to stop being friends because I think she has a good heart for those who she cares about. Come on...she had a birthday party for me in her room. It was really nice of her, and I am grateful and humbled by it.

But still, in a way...I feel as though at one point...she was phony and fake to my other friend because of the things she has said...some I even have written in text messages...but I WILL NOT show them to my friend bc that is not my place...and honestly...it probably won't even make a difference becaus at the end of the day...my friend is going to believe her over me...

I just don't need more stress on my plate right now. I have so much that I am preparing for...and I REALLY don't want this to be a setback for me.